- Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
- Random Old Lady: *comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
- ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?
- Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
- Dad: *chokes into his drink*
- ROL: You should respect your elders.
- Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
- Dad: *chokes on his drink again*
- ROL: *storms off*
- Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*
- Me: What?
- Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.
FUN STORY: my grandma lives in a city that was currently taken over by drug dealers and gangs and it’s now divided in two and my grandma is the oNLY CITIZEN IN THE WHOLE CITY who can go walking freely through both sides of the town because she used to do community work and feed the poor kids and those gang members were all fed by her so they let her come and go as she wants SO WHAT WE LEARN TODAY IS TO BE FUCKING NICE TO KIDS BC U MIGHT BE DEALING W FUTURE GANG MEMBERS
- Person: I have an idea
- Me: So did Hitler
i dedicate this comic to the teacher who pulled me out of class in middle school to tell me my bra strap was showing and that i needed to get a jacket to cover it up so that i didnt distract the boys
dedicated to all teachers, school administrators, parents, dudes, dudettes, random ass strangers, politicians and dogs who think that is a woman’s duty to ensure that men aren’t ‘distracted’
gonna start calling cats small tigers
dogs: nice wolves
insects: tiny gross birds
technically lizards are more closely related to birds than insects
*travels through time and space looking for someone who asked you*
- dog: *barks*
- me: chill
I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great